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Saturday, January 8, 2011 { 5:47 AM }

Oh God, I hate everyone.

Monday, August 23, 2010 { 4:18 AM }

Woah I've not been updating in a very long time. This year is officially the worst year ever.
I hate my life, my 'family' I mean. I put inverted commas because I'm not even sure we're counted as a family. My parents are always mean. They like my brothers better.EVERYTIME also talk about my results. Did they ever think they're partly to blame? Always want me to go out with them to go see stupid stuff. Then one time go to Marina Bay Sands, they didn't even ask whether I'm free for that weekend or whether i wanted to use that weekend to study. NO THEY DIDN'T. & I had a test on monday. Saturday & Sunday gone. I could have used that time to revise my test. In the end, I failed. Fuck. Then now want to go to Malaysia during the September Holidays. It's so near to SA2 & I alr told them I didn't want to go because I wanted to study. But noo they went to book the hotel alr. Fuck la. I hate going on holidays with them. I feel like an outsider. Like I dont belong there at all. So they better not blame me if I don't do well because I alr told them I don't wanna go. Maybe they'll change their minds after they see my report book on friday. I HOPE SO. Seriously, everyone thinks I'm always so cheerful & everything, but once you get to know me, I bet you won't think that way.

Monday, May 17, 2010 { 6:36 AM }

Omg fuck today. Today was the worst day of my life. I really feel like killing myself. Idon't see any point in living at all. I cried like crazy today all thanks to the bad results. I failed every paper we saw today. This is the worst exam ever, I've nvr done worse than this before. I feel like my heart was ripped out. I'm damn scared to tell my parents. My eyes are all puffy & red alr. I hav a bad flu & a slight fever now all thanks to crying. I've never cried so much in public before, & when I went home, I locked myself in my room & tore all my papers & cried in the shower. I'm utterly dissapointed with myself. I'm like crying as I'm typing this out. Gosh I really need to control my tears, but it keeps flowing like a river. Damnit. I really hope my parents won't be mad at me. But that's like impossible. I think I'm the worst out of my brothers & I. My younger brother is like going into the IP programme & my older rother is getting straight As in poly. I am really a bad daughter. Ireally hope my parents will forgive me. They are really gonna kill me when they see my report book. In short, no words can decribe how I'm feeling right now:( :(

Fuck I hate my life.

{ 6:17 AM }

Hiyaaaaaa! I'm finally blogging consistently. Haha.
Anyway I went to CG today, like finally I'm beginning to go more often! Im so proud of myself:)
Went to Macs after CG with Clarissa, then Isaac joined us later. Then we started making fun of Clarissa, damn funny la. Isaac called her a bimbo. Haha. He also called me a bimbo but whatever I'm not one! So Clarissa was like whining, hahahaha. I think we were damn loud cos everytime we insult Clarissa, she would whined so loudlyyy. Then Isaac & I kept hi-fiveing cos we both agreed on all the insults we said. Lol. Oh yeah, I saw Sam! Hahahaha.

Friday, May 14, 2010 { 10:46 PM }

WOAH IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE MY LAST POST.
I'm very lazy. EXAMS ARE OVER. I've been playing these past few days. Went to watch Iron Man 2 on wednesday:) It was great! I loved it! HAHA.\

It's been a bad week. I fucking hate it. It's a long story. I'm so depressed. sigh. Life is so unfair.Sometimes I wish I was not even brought into this world. I don't really tell anyone how I feel cos I don't think they really care & I'm the type of person that keep things to myself. It's so sad. In short, FUCK EVERYTHING.

Anyway, I've been watching this show about the SARS outbreak in 2003. It's so sad. The doctors risked their lives to save their patients & I really admire all of them. Some of them died & left behind their wives, children & other family members. So I would really like to thank all the doctors who helped those SARS patients. I was really sad when I saw some of the doctors dying. They are really brave & they moved me to tears.May those who passed away rest in peace. THANK YOU ALL DOCTORS OUT THERE. DOCTORS YOU ALL ROCK!!!! Haha.

Fuck I hate my life.

Friday, April 2, 2010 { 2:45 AM }

Haven been blogging much, was busy & lazy:)
This past few weeks have been bad. I don't think I'll ever be happy again. Life sucks. I hate it. I wish i was still a kid, when life was so carefree & stuff.

My CA1 results are damn bad. I know i dissapointed my parents again. Damnit. I really tried my best. Oh well. I REALLY WANNA MOVE TO AUSTRALIA. I feel I can do better there & I can like start afresh there. It'll be the only thing that will make me happy. Seriously.

I upset my mum today. She wanted to like arrange everything in my bathroom in a new way, but I didn't want her too. I told her I like it the way it is. But she continue to arrange & I told her again. Then she said I'm so grouchy( I don't know how to spell it) & she was like teenagers nowadays. She also said I'm a dissapointment. Like wth la. I felt more depressed again. I know I'm not good in anything so no one needs to tell me. Another reason why i wanna move to Australia. If I move there, i would go to boarding sch, & I won't have to see anyone I don't wanna see again. I'll be damn happy! Well life is just unfair. In times like this, I wished I had a best friend I can tell anything too. Sadly I don't have one. Haha.

Ok skip the sad parts. I went to IMM today! Omg I missed that place like crazy!! The last time I went there was like 4 years ago I think. Good memories. I used to spend every saturday of my childhood days there. Everything changed there, it reminded me of how much things have changed in my life too & how much it sucked. I miss those saturdays when me & my childhood friends played the whole day. It was so fun playing Survivor & Dog & Bone! Iremember security gurads would always scold us but who cares! Hahahaha good times! Sigh. Anyways, I love IMM. My used to be 2nd home:D

Fuck I hate my life.

Saturday, February 20, 2010 { 6:48 AM }

Omg I just realised I've not been updating lately!!! So this week was GREAT! It was CNY then my BIRTHDAY!

REUNION DINNER WAS GREAT LAST SATURDAY!!!

DAY 1 OF CNY:

Was in a bad mood in the morning cos of some issues:( Went to Grandma's house around 11, then relatives started coming around 12! Played with my niece GLADYS!! She loves me, everything also ''I want auntie Clara".......... HAHA! Then played a thinking game with my cousin and auntie! TODAY WAS REALLY FUN!!!!

DAY 2 OF CNY:

Woke up early today to go to my Grandaunt's house before people came to our house! First one to come was Uncle Joseph and family! Gosh I looked so unglam, I was sweating all over while preparing the food! Haha. Jayden, Janelle and Joelle were so shy! HAHA they damn cute:) Then more people started coming, some were my dad's friends and their family. See them every year but never got to know them. I'm very shy so that explains it. My dad's friends children were my age and some were older. I hate myself for being so shy, I'm such a bad host. So to prevent any awkward situations, Jayden was like ''Clara can we go to your room, I dun know anyone here''. HAHA so Jayden, Janelle and Joelle went inside my room. Gracine and her mum came in after. They're from Sydney. Gracine is so cute, she's mix blood ( father caucasian and mother chinese). All of them were jumping on my bed, it's a miracle my bed didn't break. Gracine's mum was nie, she talk to me and stuff! Sadly, they all had to go home early cos they had guests coming to their house. Auntie Makey came with her husband and children: Mabel, Bryan and Brandon. Never really talk to them but this year was different. HAHA. Then the Koh family, How family and the Lim family. My room then became a gambling den!! BLACK JACK!!! WHOO!! Gambled with my brothers, Melissa,Michelle,Bryan,Brandon,Jerry,Joey and Martin. Gambled until 7, then had to walk Melissa to Novena mrt cos she going out with her friends. Michelle followed, and i think this is when someone came and i didn't receive an ang pao, so unfair cos my brothers had $10 extra! Gambled for an hour then i dun know how we ended up talking about going to Swensens. HAHA. So went to Swensens at United Square with my brothers ,Michelle, Martin, Jerry, Jordan, Joey Brandon, Bryan,Marcus and Marisa. Eat and talked then went home for dessert! Everyone tried me and my brother's oreo cheescake! Then we gambled more, my luck damn bad after we came back, kept losing money! DAMN! So they went home around 11 to 12 something i think? HAHA! Today was a GREAT day even though I lost some money thanks to gambling!